


I'm Torn Do I Stay Do I Go

by Adaline_Stilinski



Series: My Soulmate-My Mate [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Am i still your mate, Badly Hurt Derek, Empty, Established Relationship, M/M, Neglected Stiles Stilinski, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-01
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-10 22:01:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5602612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adaline_Stilinski/pseuds/Adaline_Stilinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek had been focusing on making alliances with other packs around Beacon Hills to protect his pack but in doing so he started to neglect Stiles and there relationship. Stiles get's sick of it and decided to leave for some time apart is it going to help be like the stories Stiles reads and write about how distance makes love grow or will they both realise that there better apart. Will tragedy bring them together </p><p>Sterek Love</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Leaving

Sterek

Recently Derek had been focusing on making alliances with other packs around Beacon Hills so he had been going away for Days even weeks. I understood the need to make sure the pack was protected but in the process he had left our relationship failing.  
After i had finished College and got my Degree i had come straight back home to my Dad to him because i love him. I had moved into Derek's newly remodeled Hale home after he asked me to the year i left for College. 

Flashback   
Derek and I where laying in bed after a long night of making love when he whispered in my ear   
"Move in with me" He said it more as a statement then a question  
"What? Derek i cant i'm leaving for college tomorrow" I seen the time over his shoulder "Today"   
I seen him glare lifting his eyebrows I moved my head to lay against his chest  
"You mean when i come home?" I felt his stubble move against my head nodding "Are you sure I'm pretty hard to deal with what you see now is the tame side of me"  
I felt the rubble of his chest "I think i can handle to you"  
"Good luck" i kissed his chest feeling my eyes start to fall from the tiredness   
"I love you Stiles" My eyes widened he hadn't told me that before I've said it every day since he told me that he felt something towards me and he wanted to see what it was   
"I love you Sourwolf" I heard him growl making me smile  
End Flashback

I told my dad the day i was leaving that when i came home i was moving in with Derek he just smiled looked at him and said Good Luck. Bastard 

The first 2 weeks where great when i got back we spent almost every second that we had together. The only time that we couldn't was when Lydia opened her own Wedding really for me it was just a job while i did my real passion on the side   
Writing   
Really my only job at the store was Lydia's assistant book appointment's help out if she needed things picked up. It wasn't really my dream job that i went to College for 3 years for but it was good for me to have something to do when i had moment's of writers block like lately

Derek was coming home tonight from being gone for two weeks with the Dalthaven Pack so i asked  Lydia for a couple day's of so that i could cook a romantic meal for him because i missed him. Spend sometime with him i haven't spent more the 12 days with him in the last 3 months.  
I had ran out of food sometime in the last week so i had been eating takeout so i had to clean the house a bit and and go grocery shopping Issac and Erica decided to come along with to keep me company.  
The pack had all moved into there own places since they got back from College. Boyd, Erica and Boyd had only moved to a small house 20 minute human walk from the Hale house 5 minute wolf walk. Scott and Kira had got an apartment together pretty quickly but didn't stay long when they found out Kira was pregnant with Twin boys. A surprise to them both but one that they where both happy about it.   
"Stiles!" I flinched at Erica yelling in my ear "Sorry Mum we've been calling you for the last 5 minutes what had you so in your head?"  
I sighed shaking my head "Nothing important. What did you need?"  
"Okay" They both frowned hearing the slight tick in my heart at the fact i was lying "We where just wondering what you wanted to cook Derek tonight?"  
"Oh sorry he likes my Lasagna" I smiled when they both nodded heading in different directions grabbing the ingredient's i needed while i went looking for the ingredients i need for the desert which wasn't going to be on plate.  
Whipped Cream  
Ice Cream Pack  
Chocolate   
My favorite things.   
Once Erica and Issac had come back with everything i needed they looked in my basket shaking there heads and cringing knowing what it was all for.  
I had cooked everything set up the table with candles and light music knowing that Derek would be home any minute. Thanking the fact that he text me to let me know he had just passed the welcome to beacon hills sign and got a flat.  
I quickly ran up the stairs to our room changing into something nice and went running down when i heard the tires hit the gravel road out the front of the house. As i got to the bottom step i froze when i heard a second set then a third set hitting the gravel i looked out the window seeing two cars full of people i had never seen before in my life.  
I quickly moved to blow out the candles putting them away before Derek walked through the door   
"Stiles i brought some people home with me i want you to meet" I put on my best fake smile and walked out to the front door   
"Hello everyone"  
"Stiles this it the Dalthaven  pack from Chicago i thought it would be a good idea if they came and met my pack everyone this is Stiles" I felt a sharp pain in my chest 'His pack' I was just Stiles not his mate just Stiles  
"Hello Dalthaven pack" i shook everyone's hand smiling sweetly at them all. "I just finished cooking dinner i cooked to much, guess i'm to use to cooking for Derek's pack there is plenty there please feel free to dig in there's Ice Cream, Chocolate and whipped cream in the fridge for desert as i said feel free to dig in" I couldn't stay here i had become no one i had become Stiles i wasn't important any more. "I hate to run but i got a call before you all arrived from my friend Lydia she's having issues with one of the weddings being double booked by accident so i'm going to have to leave you all. " i turned to Derek "I don't know when i'll be home don't wait up" I grabbed my keys and phone of the table and moved towards the door seeing that Derek had blocked my car in. "Shit" i mumbled turning around grabbing his keys out of his hand "I'll move yours" I jumped down the 3 steps getting his car throwing it in reverse and moving it to the left the wheels lit up slightly.   
I could see out of the corner of my eye Derek glaring at me.  
"Stiles what the hell was that?" He yelled i throw the keys into the forest "Of course you care cause its your baby" I whispered jumping into my jeep and driving out of the drive passing Issac, Erica and Boyd as they looked worried heading towards the house.  
The longer i drove the more i got angrier because i could hear my phone ringing at first it was Derek then the rest of the pack down to my dad calling.  
I had become nothing   
I had become 'Stiles' I use to be 'I want you t meet my Mate Stiles' and at the same time he would wrap his arm around my waist kissing my neck in that way he knew i like the way that would make me drop what ever i was doing just so that i could jump his bones.  
When i left for college he would come every weekend even if we couldn't do anything but be in the same room because i had to study he would just sit there and watch me he told me one day when i asked him why. He said it was he didn't care if we didn't speak one word to each other it was knowing that we where both there in the room together. It was his way of showing me how much he loved me. It went from weekly to fortnightly to monthly to not coming anymore he would call and txt be he stopped visiting but i never really noticed with so much studying somedays i couldn't remember what day it was how long it had been since anything  
He never asked me if I wanted to go with him on his trips to other packs didn't call didn't tell me he missed me when he came home because he's barely been home long enough.  
Did he even want to be with me anymore.  
i felt a sob rip through my chest did i want to be with him did i want to keep trying with someone who wasn't trying back.  
I stopped the car when i seen the sign Thank You for visiting Beacon Hills.  
Before i could change my mind and turn around i kept driving i grabbed my phone that kept ringing throwing it in the back and turning my radio on as loud as i could without it hurting my ears.   
A song came on that made me cringe i started to sing along  
I thought, I saw a man brought to life  
He was warm, he came around and he was dignified  
He showed me what it was to cry

Well, you couldn't be that man I adored  
You don't seem to know  
Seem to care what your heart is for  
But I don't know him anymore

There's nothing where he used to lie  
The conversation has run dry  
That's what's going on  
Nothing's fine, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith  
This is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed  
Lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed  
Into something real  
I'm wide awake and I can see  
The perfect sky is torn  
You're a little late, I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right  
Should have seen just what was there  
And not some holy light

It crawled beneath my veins  
And now I don't care, I had no luck  
I don't miss it all that much  
There's just so many things  
That I can touch, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith  
This is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed  
Lying naked on the floor

Illusion never changed  
Into something real  
I'm wide awake and I can see  
The perfect sky is torn  
You're a little late, I'm already torn, torn

There's nothing where he used to lie  
My inspiration has run dry  
That's what's going on  
Nothing's right, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith  
This is how I feel  
I'm cold and I am shamed  
Lying naked on this floor

Illusion never changed  
Into something real  
I'm wide awake and I can see  
The perfect sky is torn

I'm all out of faith  
This is how I feel  
I'm cold and I'm ashamed  
Bound and broken on the floor  
You're a little late, I'm already torn, torn"

"Shit" I whispered   
I drove to the nearest motel wanting to get of the road.  
I pulled into a motel and went in booking a room for the night. I went back to my car grabbing my phone and laptop from the back seat i seen that i had 30 missed calls 10 voicemail's and 11 texts   
I went to my room and read the texts   
SCOTT: Stiles man Derek called me said you where mad and drove of call me back when you see this  
*Stiles   
*STILES  
ISSAC: Mum what's going on  
ERICA/BOYD: Where worried about you please call when you get this   
Mum please its been 5 hours 

I frowned looking at the time. Crap how did i lose so much time

LYDIA: Derek called asking where you are i didn't know you had told him that you where coming here. Tell me next time i will cover for you.

I sighed deleting the rest of the txts and pushed play on the voicemail's

Derek: Stiles where are you come back why are you so mad?  
Scott: Derek dude i have an angry Alpha at my door scaring my very pregnant girl friend call me back tell me what the hell happened  
Derek: (I heard Derek's angry growl) Stiles you are embarrassing me in front of the Dalthaven pack come home so we can talk.

I felt my anger boil over and called Derek back he answered on the second ring   
"Are you done being childish now?" My breathing started to get heavy i was getting angrier   
"I'm being childish" I growled "Go fuck yourself Alpha Hale. I'm not doing this anymore i'm not going to stick around and let you treat me like crap. I'm going away for awhile don't call don't text don't use the pack to get in contact with me because i'm throwing my phone into a lake. Entertain your guests Derek i'll call my dad to pick up my things tomorrow from you're home" I hung up calling my Dad  
"Stiles what's going I've had Scott, Derek, Lydia calling me every 5 minutes asking me if I've heard from you what happened where are you?"  
"I'm at a Motel for the night i got sick of it Dad of being nothing to him anymore. I'm going to New York for a bit i got an offer from a friend out there to write for his paper for awhile i'm going to take him up on his offer i need some things can you go to Derek's and pick up a few clothes for me and my passport please the writing my need me to travel so i need it."  
"Stiles son i'll do what ever you need me to but are you sure this is the right thing to do you don't think you should stick around and talk to Derek he love's you, you love him still don't you?"  
"I don't know anymore dad"  
"Okay son i'll go now where are you i'll bring the things to you" I gave him the address "Be careful ill be there in an hour or 2"  
"Thank's dad. Oh and can you not say anything to anyone specially not the pack"  
"Sure son" He hung up.   
My phone started to ring once i hung up it was Derek. I sent him to Voicemail and called Ryan in New York  
"Hello? Stiles?"  
"Ryan hi sorry to call you out of the blue how are you?"  
"I'm great I just got your email I'm gutted you couldn't go on that trip for me i think you would have really like it"  
"That's actually why I'm calling i changed my mind i would love to go"  
"Great when can you leave"  
"Tomorrow morning?"  
"Perfect i'll book your ticket for the morning and send you the details, thanks for this Stiles i don't think i would get anyone better then you" I half smiled   
"No problem I'm happy to do it"  
"I'll have some one meet you at the airport tomorrow with the camera's that you will need."  
"Great thanks for this Ryan"  
"No thank you, you are saving my ass. Goodnight Stiles"  
"Goodnight Ryan"   
10 minutes later and emailed popped through with my flight number and times and who i had to meet at the airport for the things i needed. First stop was New Zealand   
I'm actually going to do this.  
Two hours later i heard a knock on my door i got up looking out the window seeing my dads cruiser sitting there, i unlocked the door seeing him standing there.  
"Do you know how hard it was for me to get this stuff" I frowned at him confused "Derek wouldn't let me in the house" I cringed "He thought i was there to take all of your things" I sighed moving to sit down on the edge of the bed "He looks terrible Stiles so do you"  
"I have to go give him some space to figure out what he wants cause lately it isn't me. Did you get my passport" He reached into my bag he was still holding and passed it to me "Where are you really going?"  
"New Zealand first Australia next and so on until i don't want to anymore"  
"Promise me you won't stay away for long that you will come back"  
"I'll come back i will always come back Beacon Hills is my home it's where my family is i can't stay away for to long" He nodded standing and pulling me into a hug kissing the top of my head "I love you kid"  
"Love you to dad" He moved to leave but stopped turning back to me looking conflicted   
"Derek said something to when i was leaving told me to tell you"  
"Tell me"  
"Soulmate"  
I smiled cringing "Thanks for telling me"  
Dad hugged me one more time telling me to be careful before leaving.  
I moved to the bed curling into a ball and letting the anger and tears out screaming into the pillow i felt the energy drain from my body   
I fell asleep dreaming about the story behind Soulmate  
Dream state  
"Stiles" Derek whispered as I moved to lay in bed next to him after 12 hours of writing a 50.000 word paper for class i kept getting distracted by Derek's sexy body  
"Yeah" i whispered bearing my head into his chest   
"Do you know what Mates mean?"  
"The wolf version of soulmates right what Scott and Kira are right? everyone has a true love.... someone who is made just for them. TO be apart for long periods of time is pai-" i stopped look up at Derek "Painful it hurt it feels like someone is trying to rip you heart out with a spoon"  
"You feel that?"   
"Yeah. When i haven't seen or heard from you in awhile. What are you trying to tell me"  
"Stiles you are my mate... my soulmate my wolf calls to you that's why i come here every weekend it's because i need to see you i need to feel you my wolf and i need you know that your still there that you haven't left"  
"I'll never leave you Derek i love you"  
"I'll never leave you Stiles I don't know what i would do if i ever lost you" I felt his arms tighten around my body  
I tightened mine back showing him that i cared just as much  
"Luckily you don't have to imagine because once i finished College i'm going to come home and were going to move my things into you- our house and we are going to live forever"  
End Dream

"Derek" I sobbed 


	2. Ready to Run

I found this song by accident leaving my youtube on auto play and it coming on her voice sounds amazing and this song stuck out for me for this chapter it is a One Direction song but it's amazing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlXpaCYXcMk

Chapter 2  
I Jumped gasping when banging on my hotel door woke me. I sighed sitting up answering  
"Hello Mr Stilinski sorry to wake you but you have a call at the front desk from a Lydia?" I nodded "We tried to patch her through but we think there is something wrong with you're room phone  
"It's okay i'll just put a shirt on and come answer it. Thank You" The young woman smiled leaving.  
I turned back to my hotel room finding the shirt i wore yesterday and putting it on.  
As i was walking to the front desk i realized how long it had been since i had heard from Lydia. It's been almost 6 weeks. I last spoke to her the day i got on the plane to New Zealand. I had been to 6 different country's since... How did she know i was here?  
I walked into the office and the young woman handed me the phone  
"Lydia?"  
"Stiles thank good you need to come home?" I could hear the panic in her voice  
"Why what happened is Derek okay? My Dad? Kira?"  
"Derek got into a fight with another Alpha its bad Stiles he's not healing as he should Deaton can't do anything for him" i felt my body tense up and fail i slipped down the desk landing on the floor "Stiles did you hear me? You need to come home he needs you if not for him for you to at least say good bye?" I choked on of sob stuck in my throat "Stiles say something?"  
"I'm coming" I jumped up pushing my body into gear giving the phone back to the lady at the desk "I'm checking out i'll be back in 10 minutes to give you the keys can you put everything through so i just have to sign the papers and leave?"  
"Of Course Mr Stilinski right away" I ran back to the room packing my bags grabbing everything that i had brought and throw it into my jeep i had been back in the states for 24 hours i had finished my trip and stopped into the hotel on my way back home to rest after my long flight.  
I ran to the front desk handing my keys to the front desk  
"Sign here and you're free to go" I handed her the key and ran back to my jeep pushing it to the limit as i drove home it took me what would have been a 3 hour drive 1 hour and 20 minutes. Dad would kill me if he found out i broke all the traffic laws to get here.  
I drove past the welcome to Beacon Hills sign and cringed remembering the last time i was there the pain that i was in i pulled into the Hale driveway and seen Issac sitting on the rock head in hands. His head shot up when i stopped next to him  
"Mum?" I opened the passenger door inviting him in he jumped in and looked at me "You're back"  
"I was always coming back" I drove up and parked behind the 4 cars in the drive way i knew Derek's, Lydia's and Scott's i didn't know who the 4th on was.  
I took a deep breath and got out of the car moving towards the front door before could make it up the second step Cora swung the door open making me stop.  
"Hi Co-" I cringed as she slapped me across the face my head snapped to the right  
"What the hell are you doing he-" She stopped looking behind her at the door I frowned confused  
"Derek's calling for you" Issac whispered behind me  
I quickly side stepped Cora running into the house  
"He's in the lounge room" Issac called  
I quickly moved into the room seeing him lying on a mattress in the ground  
"Derek" I choked  
"HI Stiles" He cringed moving his head slightly to look at me "Come here" i moved to Neal down next to the bed  
"Hi my Sourwolf" i felt the tears start to roll down my face "You're and idiot you know that. Why weren't you more careful?"  
"He hasn't been careful since you left Stile's he takes risks not caring what the damage is, you left him and he had nothing to live for" Cora started to yell at me  
I could hear Derek trying to speak  
"And you think it was easy for me"  
"YOU LEFT TO TRAVEL"  
"I left to work to give him space because i wanted him to figure out without me around if he still wanted me if the mate bond was still there he stopped caring he stopped being there. I just wanted him to be there"  
"He wanted you to be here for him fat lot of good that did him you have all but killed him by leaving. Now he's killing himself" I growled lifting my hands using my powers to slam the door in her face and surrounded the doors and windows with Wolvesbane  
"What did you do? How did you do it?" He gasped out but before i could answer him he passed out  
"Deaton" I grabbed my cell calling him i could hear the phone ring in the other room he answered quickly "Can you come in here please"  
"Of Course" A few seconds later he stepped through the door i could see everyone's shocked face but ignored them. I'll deal with that shit later  
"The healing spell you sent me if i use it on Derek will he heal... will he live?"  
"Of course it should theoretically heal everything and he would make a full recovery but Mr Stilinski you're heart is not strong enough for you both" I felt the tears roll down my face harder  
"I don't care if he dies i die and i can't live with out him there's no me with out him. I have to try will you help me?"  
"I don't recommend this Stiles. Imagine it from Mr Hale's point of view he will lose someone else he loves if you die trying to heal him."  
"I don't care either help or get out either way i'm going to try and save his life" He nodded moving to the other side of Derek  
"Put you're hands over his heart gently" I slowly did "Now close your eyes and think of him think of all the good times think of him healed and strong and happy wish and want for those Stiles wish and want. Tell him how you feel put all your love into" I nodded Closing my eyes. I started remembering the first night we told each other we loved each other. The first night we made love where we shared our deepest darkest secrets.  
I love you Derek Sourwolf Hale i love you and if you love me you will fight, fight with me Derek come back to me remind me why i fell in love with you in the first place  
You are strong and a fighter and you care even though you don't show it. I love that you were there for me after i started to have panic attacks again or that you would drive 3 hours just to be with me after I've called you in a freak out. I want that Derek back i miss him i lift cause you hadn't been him. If you come back i come back. I started to hum along to a song in my head  
There's a devil in your smile, it's chasing me  
And every time I turn around it's only gaining speed  
There's a moment when you finally realize  
There's no way you can change the rolling tide  
But I know, yes I know, that I'll be fine  
This time I'm ready to run  
Escape from the city and follow the sun  
'Cause I wanna be yours, don't you wanna be mine?  
I don't wanna get lost in the dark of the night  
This time I'm ready to run  
Wherever you are is the place I belong  
'Cause I wanna be free, and I wanna be young  
I will never look back now I'm ready to run  
I'm ready to run

"Please heal" I felt the energy drain from my body "If i don't make it tell him that i love him and that my life was better because of him he is my soulmate and all ways will be" Everything started to go black  
"Stiles you have to stop it's killing you"  
"He's not healed ye-" Before i could say anything else i lost everything my strength my power everything went black  
Am I dead?  
*****  
I slowly opened my eyes seeing Derek sitting next to me in what looks to be our bedroom  
"We died didn't we were in heaven right now aren't we. Damn it i was hoping it would work and you would be saved. I'm so sorry for leaving if i knew this was going to happen i would have never left i love you Derek please forgive me i miss you i need you"  
"Stiles shut up for a second" I closed my mouth glaring at him for snapping at me "Were not dead you didn't die neither did I but you're going to wish i was dead once i'm finished yelling at you" I smiled hearing the love in his voice  
"I love you" I whispered sitting up  
"Don't ever think about sacrificing your life for mine again my life is not worth living if you're not here with me. Deaton told me about your gift do';t ever do it again"  
"Don't jump into fights you know you're not going to make it out of" I snapped back at him  
"I heard what you said to me when you were doing that healing thing" i slowly sat u.  
That was a bad idea everything started to blur and black. I passed out again  
The next time i opened my eyes the room was black i felt the urge to pee  
I moved extra slow this time so not to pass out and moved towards the bedroom door as i reached to open it the door swung open just missing my face.  
"Shit" I yelled "You had to have known i was there" I didn't even know who it was until i seen the red eyes "Derek"  
"You need to go back to bed Deaton said you need to rest for a few days"  
"I need to pee and i'm not going to rest till we talk because there was a reason for me leaving in the first place and i need to know" I pushed past him and went to relive myself.  
I looked in the mirror seeing how pale i looked i could see my cheeks bones. I really gave him everything i had. Does it matter though  
'Come one Stiles just go out there and get it over with if he doesn't want to be with you anymore you can figure it out'  
I stepped out of the bathroom seeing him sitting across the hall watching me  
"I never wanted you to leave i never wanted you to think that i didn't want you anymore because i do want you i love you Stiles i've loved you since the moment you sat in the front of your dads car telling me you weren't afraid of me... but maybe a little. Everything in me wanted to laugh for the first time in i don't know how long Laura was the only one that could ever make me laugh. I knew instantly you were my Mate and i know that for those months since you got back from College i had been just leaving because i got use to just having someone here at home"  
"That's what it felt like it just felt like you enjoined the convenience of someone here when you drifted into town"  
"I know and it wasn't because i didn't love you anymore it was because while you were at College i learnt how to push my want for you aside because i didn't want you to see how much it hurt for me not having you around because i wanted you to go of and make new friends and study and it's what i still did when you came home it was easier to push aside it still hurt it felt like someone was sitting on my chest and i couldn't breath but i got use to which is why my trips became longer and i didn't stay here for long."  
"Did you know you stopped kissing me stopped telling me you love me. Calling stopped if i would call you would never answer you just stopped, it may have made you feel better but it didn't make feel better." I against the door behind me and slid to the ground "I want to remember how we fell in love why we fell in love. I want to know if you love me because i'm your mate and you're wolf wants me or do you love me because you want to love me." Derek open his mouth to say something but i cut him off "Don't answer that right now i want you to think about it really think about it then tell me"  
"But Stiles"  
"No i'm asking this of you Derek please"  
"Okay"  
"I'm going to stay at my dads for a few days come to me when you need to"  
"Stiles you can't drive home you just got so tried talking to to me you had to sit down"  
"I know someone from the pack still here... Issac" 4 seconds later he came running up the stairs "Can you take me home please you can borrow my Jeep to get back"  
"No i'll follow you home and i'll bring Issac back"  
"i can walk" i rolled my eyes growling at them both "How about Derek you stay here and Issac can just bring my jeep back when i'm feeling better"  
"Sounds good to me" Issac said smiling at me  
I heard the slight growl from Derek  
"Stop" I half yelled "He's taking me home don't try and Alpha him i asked him to because i want him to so stop" I turned away from Derek walking towards Issac "Can you help me down the stairs i don't know if i'll have the strength to make it all the way without falling"  
"I've got him" Derek jumped up lifting me bridal style and carrying me down stairs to the car i wanted to protest but i knew it was pointless  
"I could have walked it may have taken a little longer but i would have been fine"  
"I know it's just the longer you are here the more i don't want you to leave and i don't want to force you to stay" i sighed wiping away the tears beginning to roll down my cheek screw you gravity  
2 Nights Later

 

"Okay Stile's Melissa and i are leaving are you sure you're going to be okay"  
"Yeah dad i'm fine plus Erica, Boyd and Issac are coming over a little later""  
"Okay Son if you need anything call us okay don't strain your self or anything"  
"I won't be careful in the rain" I smiled as Melissa and Dad walked out the door. I'm so glad they finally figured out they where meant to be now.  
I turned back to the tv flicking through the Channel i smiled when it came to Arrow. I smiled when i seen it was my favorite/hated episode 4x09. Oliver getting down to propose and Felicity getting shot  
"Damn you Oliver Queen" I yelled at the screen "You couldn't have pushed her lower to the ground she was still on the freaking chairs" I jumped when there was a knock on the door "Crap you can come in guys" I said normally knowing they would hear me.  
I frowned when i didn't hear the door open "What the hell" I stood up walking to the door throwing it open  
I gasped seeing Derek standing there drenched from head to toe from the rain  
"Derek?" I stepped out the door slightly to see if his car was there but it wasn't "How did you get here?"  
"Walked" I stepped back letting him  
"i'll grab you a towel" I slowly moved to the laundry room grabbing a few of the towels that where in the dryer.  
I came back out passing them to him  
"Why did you walk here did you're car brake down"  
"No" i sighed one word answers  
"Are you okay?"  
"No" I sighed when he hadn't even started to dry himself  
I grabbed the towels out of his hands and started to dry his face and head throwing one of the towels to the ground grabbing his leather jacket and pulling it off "Go have a shower i'll put you're clothes in the dryer and grab you some dry clothes"  
"No"  
"What? Derek you have to speak in more then one word sentences"  
"I said no. I'll shower when we talk"  
"Okay then what do you want?"  
"You" He moved forward grabbing my face and pulling me forward crashing his lips against mine  
His hands were in my hair, his scent was all around me, his lips were rough against mine, and they burned, melting me until I wasn't sure who I was anymore, until I wasn't sure of anything. My hands seized his face, pulling him closer to me.  
His kiss was so familiar, yet it never failed to melt me. I could never assemble a coherent thought when he was kissing me; all I could think of, all I registered, were his lips moving with mine, and the sound of my heart in my ears, beating so fast I was surprised it didn't break down.  
I didn't want to pull away I was lost in his kiss, lost in his scent, and I wanted to stay lost forever. Somehow. My fingers ended up tugging on the ends of his hair, wanting to keep him there,  
My heart stuttered and jumped when he suddenly deepened the kiss, surprising me. It didn't seem like he wanted to pull away either. His hands left my hair and ran over my shoulders, down my sides, somehow burning me and making me shiver at the same time. My mind was in a complete whirlwind, and I was quickly losing all sense of myself. And I was beginning to feel very, very hot  
My hands left his hair and clutched onto his shoulders, trying to use them as a means to pull myself even closer to him. My hands started to slide down his chest, and I let them. His chest was solid under my fingers, his muscles tensing in response. I put my hands under his shirt I loved to stare at his bare chest, but touching it was oh so much better. He made a growling noise, low in his throat, that made my heart beat painfully fast. I felt his hands wrap around my waist tightly, and so quickly I wasn't sure how it happened, I was wrapping my legs around his waist. I almost fainted. His lips were rougher, more fervent against mine, and his hands ran up my spine and back down again, setting my skin on fire. My mind was clouded; I couldn't think, I could barely breathe, I thought my heart was going to explode… but then he stopped putting me down and pulling away.  
I hunched over with my hands on my knees taking deep breaths in  
"Wow" i whispered he had never kissed me like that before "What was that?"  
"Me showing you my love i was giving you everything i had in the kiss because i wanted to you to feel how i feel every time you kiss me every time you touch me. I want you and only you, you are my mate Stiles and i'm sorry that i was pulling away in the last few years i didn't want i just felt it was easier and i was wrong because i didn't realize how much it was hurting you. I love you Stiles i need you I don't know if i can live without you anymore it's more painful then anything else that I've ever been through" My heart melted Damn you Derek Hale  
"It's all i need to know i needed to know that you still need me you still want me to be your partner in crime"  
"I want you so bad i need you as my partner in crime" I smiled jumping up wrapping my arms and legs around him "Take me home and show me how much you love me"  
"I would love to but i didn't bring my car."  
"My dad's not going to be home for at least a few hours" Derek started moving heading to my old room  
A few hours later  
"That was." I couldn't even come up with words  
"Marry me" Derek blurted out before i could say anything else he moved letting go reaching his jeans and pulling out a white velvet box "From the moment i met you i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and at first i didn't know you were my mate because i didn't know anything about it until i read on of my mums books and she explained it and everything she said and write down was you but that didn't matter because i already had love you before I knew any of that. Sometimes i love and hate you sometimes i wish i could rip your throat out-"  
"With you're teeth" I whispered  
"With my teeth. You where there for me when i decided to re build the house and the first day i set foot in it once it was finished. When i'm driving places and those stupid one direction songs come on the radio my head tells me turn them off but my heart tells me no because they remind me of you or when i see parents with there kids I know that's it's you i want to have babies with to see little you or me's running around the house. I want to come home from work and see you my husband playing around with our children. I want to Marry you Stiles i want you to be my husband. So this is me asking you. Will you marry me?"  
"Hell yes!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is the end lol i know it took me a lot longer then i thought it would but I've had this insane headache for the last few days plus i start back at work tomorrow and it's slightly freaking me out haha. But i wanted to thank every one that has reviewed or bookmarked or down Kudos it means so much to me I've missed this so thank you all

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about spelling it 3:53am and im so tired but didn't want to stop until i finished the first chapter.  
> Stay tuned for the second chapter should be up tomorrow or today


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